Saturday, January 24, 2009

My only form of Exercise!!

Before I begin let me ask you a question.You can love me or hate me but definitely cannot deny me.What is it that I am pointing to?Common guys,don't scroll down to see the answer.I know it's very comfortable to lay back in the lounge and let our mind do what it's best at-SLEEP:-).Lets get our brains ticking.To help you,I pitch across a clue.It's typical of the city called Bangalore!.Oops it's the same city that we are dwelling.Hope you have guessed it by now.Yeah the one and only 'TRAFFIC'.You might now be wondering how this is related to the title of my artilce.Here it goes..
Dak Dak Dak,my front door gets a bang!!"Oye would you mind switching off the alarm?Atleast for God's sake!!".This is what my owner has to say almost every morning at 5AM!Surprised with the timings.DON'T BE,because the amount of time that I dedicate to travel is close to six hours,unfortuantely everday!!.Hmmm so doudne ki zindagi shuru."Ut saala ut"-my mind tells me.Regrettingly I get up and finish off all ablutions and run to the destination:the ubiquitous bus stop:-)With my hands literally folded,I pray and beg for mercy from God to find me a place to sit in the bus.Being optimistic I run along.Unfortunately lady luck never seems to be on a date with me.Ah! not again!.Fully crowded and loaded buses pass by.It looks as if BMTC buses(Govt. buses in B'lore) are having a hearty laugh at me saying-"Bacchu himmat he toh bus pe chadja.Hahaha".With no other option at my disposal I get onto the bus(ofcourse after many futile attempts:-)).
Now that I some how managed to place one of my foot on the bus,does the story end?Naah..Ab tak toh trailer huva,aage aage dekho hotahe kya?Squeezing onto a fully packed bus is an 'art' that not many can master.Fortuantely for me I learnt it within a couple of days of boarding BMTC buses.The fact that I weigh around 47kgs! makes it much more easier.Now with the ticket wala running onto me as if to pounce and eat me alive,I manage to muster courage and pull across my wallet."One daily pass" handing over 100 bucks to conductor."what boss?Nahi change kya?"conductor retorts in so called Hindi.I presume and only presume that these words are a merger of Kannada and Hindi.So I better call it Kandi!!(Sorry I couldn't come up with a better word)."No boss i reply" only to face his wrath,anger and hatred.
While this infamous transaction goes on,bus reaches the next stop.With me getting a inkling about it,I run for cover so that I am spared of all stamping and nudging.For my despair I didn't miss the sweet kisses of push and pull.I curse myself for being like a one legged man in a bum kicking competetion.But in the back of my mind I knew that I got to choose between tightening my belt or else people around would loosen my pants!:-).So the saga continues and as I travel,myself along with hundred odd people look for a chance to rest our butt.If getting onto the bus is of mastery level 1,pouncing onto an empty seat is definitely level 3 or 4.
I seriously don't understand the logic or whatever you may call it as to how someone manages to occupy a seat.100 odd people hogging onto 1 seat is a clear indication of the situation but Jesus how can some one 'fight' over a seat.Yeah this is reality which I am sharing with you.It's actually a mini war or say a prototype of a guirella warfare.I must admit people literally fight for their lives to reach onto a seat!!I wonder how many hits my video would receive if I post this act on Youtube.I bet it's going to break the old records and create new one which would take ages to be surpassed!!.
With my neatly pressed clothes taking a beat and me left lurching half alive,I reach my office stop.While I thank God for keeping me alive I try to find a way out of the bus only to realize that I am too far behind to reach the door.With fractions of seconds left I follow the same path as others,yes you guessed it right,stamp people on the way or do whatever you want but reach the exit.Remember the words of Arjuna when Dronacharya asked him about his target.Bird's eye,isn't it?Ditto Ditto with me as well but for a small change:'bus door exit' replaces the 'bird's
eye':-).
Arey door tak toh paunch gaya.Magar baahar kaise niklu is the question that ran in my mind bringing a shiver down my spine.Phew!,with the so called automatic door kept wide open I try to put my foot out of the bus but unfortuantely I couldn't.Reason-there is more influx of people than outflux as the bus stops at each terminal for a maximum of 2 minutes!.Although I am vehemently heading out of the bus people around won't let me.For someone who is around 20 kgs under weight don't expect fighting for long.So as I give up bus door closes and I only hope that I make my way out in the next stop atleast.People around me felt bad about it and thought of showing courtesy and any guesses as to how they did it.They pushed me like a stack of baggage until I kept one of my foot out of the bus.Sad isn't it?No way man,I must say that this was the defining moment of my life.I can't express the sought of happiness that I experience everytime I manage to finish off my journey,well just to begin my day at office!.Nobody travels
on the road to success without a puncture or two.Isn't it? and I religiously admit it and follow it.
I am very confident that this is the best form of exercise to keep yourself fit both physically and mentally.So I presume,you now know where to head to for complete fitness package at a very affordable price.Down down VLCC and all those money gulping centres!!.Three cheers to BMTC buses.
Before I sign off,I leave you with this quote-“Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them”.I have made use of one such opportunity and I sincerely hope you follow through as well:-).

Saturday, October 18, 2008

DESULTORY AIRHEAD’S RANTS – PART I

Long long ago very long ago..(Flash lights off giving a shade of darkness..special effects you see) there lived a couple named Shiva and Parvati. With every thing at their disposal right from happiness to wealth they were having a blast of time in heaven. But how long can a couple make love isn’t it?lol. Since they had loads of time at their disposal they thought of playing a game. So they called on their secretary Narada to give them a list of options. You might wonder how this is remotely possible as Narada is a loyalist of Narayana.

Here I give you a brief account of how this happened. Narayana had arranged a grand function. It was a call for the selection of new entries to fill in for the the three most prestigious posts or should I say most lucrative posts in heaven, for they gave you a chance to be millionaires in no time as emoluments and perks were really high. Yes, you guessed it right, it was a call to fill in for Rambe, Urvashi and Menake as they had grown old and were facing stress related issues!!. Loads of good looking girls turned up for the event and after the initial rounds of written test and interview, ten of them proceeded to the final round. (From a reliable source in heaven I came to know that Mrs.Shakuntala devi and some random Sharma books had given a boost for the ten girls who made it to the finals. Incredible!, for these books have far reaching roots.) Ok back to the event: it was an all gala round in which every participant had to perform for 15 minutes to one of the latest bollywood songs. More points were to be given to performers who would chose ‘item numbers’ as these had set a rage among the old and young in heaven off late. So naturally ‘Om Shanti Om’ and ‘Saawariya’ songs weren’t accepted as they din’t have any item numbers to boast off.

Narayana had made this an all exclusive event with him being being the judge and also the sole audience. So the most awaited event kicked off with the first participant choosing the number ‘Mayya-Mayya’ from the film ‘Guru’. The event proceeded with Narayana having the most wonderful time of his life. Among the various participants it was the fourth one who had created a flutter for she had chosen the skimpiest of clothes and had preferred to dance for the number from the movie ‘Jism’, ofcourse for the song ‘Jadoo hey nashaa hey’. It was here that Narada was caught sneaking in from backdoors capturing the dance on his new iPhone. Unfortunately he had forgotten to turn the mobile into silent mode. While shooting he had received a alert from one of the local daily and thus came the end of his chupa-rustum act. Since he was caught red handed by none other than Narayana, this great guru-disciple pair had to break up.

This made Narada really worried about his future, but all thanks to our countries politicians, he soon learned the art of changing loyalties for some ransom. So he decided to bid adieu to his guru Narayana and headed towards Shiva. Shiva hadn’t disappointed him either as he promised him of the post of Secretary at his office. Along with it, he was guaranteed of a Bugatti Veyron(it’s the fastest car in the world) after guaging his performance for a period of six months. This made Narada all happy and secure about his future and since that day he turned out to be a loyalist of Shiva. Let's head back to the ruddy situation back in Shiva’s office.

It was five minutes since Shiva had sent a message to Narada asking him give the details of all the games available in his office. But there was no response from the secretary. Shiva known for his short temper rose from his feet and started grumbling at Narada. This is what he said to Parvati “Paaru, this bugger uses a Spice connection for his mobile which means that I have to send any message atleast 5 times for it to be delivered. Inspite of me patiently doing it he hasn’t replied. How overweening must he be to act in this way..Grr”. Sighting fumes from all quarters of Shiva’s head Parvati tried to find the flush button in his head aka Ganga, but in vain as Ganga had forgotten to fill in the water tank in the morning as she slept very late the previous day since she was glued onto ‘Vogue’ magazine wondering when her swelt, size-zero bod would appear in the front cover page.

Incidently Narada who had gone to the H-CCD (Heaven-Café Coffee Day) outlet for the brunch time break hadn’t come back to his seat on time. While he was happily sipping his Café-Mocha oglying at the girls who passed by, he used his other hand to chat to his ex-girl friends on gtalk. Indeed it was a momentous time of his life as he was flooded with new friend requests and testimonials of which 90% were from females. Ever since he put up his new snap he had taken with all ten finalists, he was now considered the most reliable entry path to all luxuries of heaven given the proximity he shared with all great guns of heaven. When he was basking in his glory he received the SMS from Shiva. Since he had already over-shooted his break by over 15 minutes, Narada after receiving this message was slightly worried about the mood back in office. So he closed down all the sites he had opened viz Orkut, Facebook, Myspace,Hi5, Youtube and so on and headed back to where he should have been..To be continued..

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Love is in the air!!!

It seems like everyone around me has gone insane,or rather acting asinine.Every alternate day I hear one or the other guy longing to propose to a girl(or rather.. forget it!!).I understand that we are all parting our ways as our tyranny of 4 years with one of the worst universities on earth- VTU ends and we are supposedly the fresh batch of engineers(loads of exclamations!!!!),but never knew that it's aftermath could pamper the minds of my friends to such an extent.

Till date,I never understood the logic of two people holding hands and walking down the arroyo or a park or some public place.As a matter of fact everyone knows that this display of artificial emotions in public display wouldn't last for more than 3-4 months.So my question to all people who are falling into this abyss is why on earth would you want to spoil your precious time by indulging in some activity that's definite to lead to one thing-affliction.If you are an atheist don't worry you always have a very old friend 'booze' with you.


Hey guys it's just a matter of time before your counterpart starts cribbing about all the things she handles.It reminds me of my friend who was in a state of despair as his girlfriend was pissed off with him for not wishing Good morning.WTH,can it get worse than this!!.When I ask him as to how is it to be in a relationship for 3 years,all that he has to say is this "It's not about being in a relationship anymore,it's about me being at the receiving end of all cribbing".God save you!!.

If you think I am drawing conclusion from one incident then I pity you for I can quote thousands of such examples and I am sure you must be nodding your head with me in unison.So guys better late than never;stop acting stupid and live you life rather than burying yourself in a grave when you are still alive.Well if you ask me as to what's the best part of not being in a relationship, my answer is very simple and straight forward "You won't be deprived of the basic fundamental right of (1)the liberty to have crush on any girl and most importantly (2)freedom to hang out with any girl whom you like".So live life buggers.Act smart.

Before I sign off a word of caution:make sure that you do not follow my instructions diligently if not you might just end up with a situation like this.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

B+ve

Reminiscing my past I feel she's the person I can never ever forget.It feels simply amazing to get nostalgic and go down the memory lane to remember the most memorable moments of my life.Ah!!great were the days when we roamed around streets holding hands together,needless to mention how hard it was to do this for the first time.It took me exactly 45 days and 8 hours to get a feel of her.I still remember that day.It was 5’o clock in the evening and it was our third meet.It was the spring season which people say is the best season to begin the journey of love.The wind blew from left to right bringing down the yellow flowers from the tree onto the ground creating a virtual heaven right in front of me.With the scene perfectly set she arrived and with her came the wonderful smile which could give a run for money even to the beauties of moon.Asking myself to put on some courage I held her hands,put my hands over them and held them tight.May be I should have waited for a minute or two but somehow I couldn’t.I felt as if I was floating in the air much above earth surface,must be easily 10,000 feet high!!.Had the cupid arrow struck me?I had no clue,all that I wanted was to enjoy the moment to the core and I did so.Frankly speaking I just lost to her on that day and may be I continue to do so even today.
I took it to the next level from there and hey there was no looking back.The ‘once in fortnight’ meet now changed to ‘once in a week’ meet.The experiences of sharing icecream with loads of peppy talk adding onto the flavour or the conversation which ran for hours on the telephone with fears of being caught by my parents or the rides to the theatre on my kinetic.Simply great!!.The fact that my kinetic neither had an indicator nor a horn added spice to the ride.Oh did I forget to mention that I didn’t even have a licence!!(Actually I was too young to hold one:-)).Well,I can list thousands of such experiences.
But things changed over the years.The aura of happiness diminished,so did the love factor.She started having fights over petty things.The weekly meet which had eventually turned onto a daily one seemed to have just lost its shine for her.We couldn’t or rather didn’t want to meet even once in month.I just couldn’t digest the fact that she didn’t love me anymore.Oh god why on earth did you make me meet her was the question that popped up every minute.Oh Katz(that’s her nick name given by me)I missed you badly.You must be wondering as to who this mistery girl of my life is.Isn’t it?So no more waiting,here we go..

Yes,thats Katie Holmes.Man,isn’t she beautiful.Hey wait,I never mentioned you about the culprit who snatched my love.Here he is-a snob who is short,plump and acts in MI series which are sometimes worse than the Dhoom2.I still can’t figure out how Katz fell for him.Seriously,look at me-a handsome,witty,brainy,humorous…(huh I can go on and on) and the person right below.

So I thought for a while and actually found myself very foolish to even have accepted her as my girlfriend.Given the fact that I am a very optimistic and consider spider as my inspiration for its never give up attitude,I didn’t crib for too long,kept my eyes really wide open(sometimes even the mouth!!)and found myself a new friend.Here she is....

Hot,candy with a great smile to add on,what else do you expect?I am more than satisfied to have found her and hope you are jealous for the same reason.So my advice is to be open to new avenues and someday you might just find in one more girl who continues to be your life..only until you find a better girl to replace her..lol..So I end my post saying B+ve..

Acknowledgments:
(1)For all the people who have fallen in love or hope to do so.I never could have found sentences to compare the smile of a girl with something like a moon if not for you people.Cheers!!
(2)For my 2nd girlfriend Genelia(better I keep it as Xth girlfriend..see you never know:-))for flicking her photo.Hope we can meet someday.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The love of my life-'SLEEP'


My phone starts ringing and as I pick it up,the first question people ask me these days is this "Hey loafer,still sleeping ah?!".I try my level best to clear up my coarse tone so that people don't feel that i was sleeping all along and say "No,was reading a novel"(wondering as to how I am relating myself to novels,wait for my next blog) or "NO yar,just chatting(rather should i say flirting) on the net".But more I talk,more convincing the other person becomes that I was flat for at least the past 3 or 4 hrs.So I finally admit one thing I love a lot..ya baby thats 'SLEEP'.

I sometimes wonder as to how a person can sleep for as long as I do..Please fasten your seat belts if you are in a plane right now or if you are just plain relaxing in your house,make sure you have a bisleri or aquafina bottle right in front of you,because now I reveal the 8th wonder of the world,ya the amount of sleep I have daily.It's close to 15-18 hrs /day.Phew!!!hope you are still good enough to continue reading my blog or rather should I give you 2 min break to recuperate..:-).But the million dollar question is whether it's wrong by any means to sleep for as long as I wish?I don't think so.To justify this fact read on.Recently I heard a interview of the Legendary Sitar Virtuoso Pt.Ravi Shankar.Someone asked him as to how he could achieve such great acclaim,he replied saying that he dedicated his life to sitar by working for 15-18 hrs/day.Hey give me a break,thats exactly the same time I am spending on my area of interest,yeah 'SLEEP'.So I believe it's just a matter of time before you can see me on TV.Now that would be real fun,isn't it?People giving titles like Pandit(well I already have one starting from the same letter) or maestro to me.The maestro,Sri Pandit Roopesh R.N..hahaha.

Recently I got a reward from the orkut community!!.Amazed,don't be.Out of curiosity I typed in the words 'I love sleeping' in the search column and to my astonishment my name appeared as the 4th name in the search list.To give you an insight as to how big this is for me,let me tell you about the other communities present in list.They were communities having around 40k people in them.Now I hope you agree how happy I was seeing my name in this list of stalwarts!!.Oh I can hear the great round of applause..Thank you for recognizing my talent.

Hey even though I had become a perfectionist in the area of sleep,something strange happened when I slept this afternoon.It was around 1.15PM when I started off the wonderful journey and by the time I woke up it was around 5.10PM.Somehow something weird started to happen.I just couldn't feel my senses properly.Well I thought some strange disorder has struck me.(Ah finally as it's very tough for me to fall sick even though I weigh just 48kgs,thanks to the fact that I have a profound resistance..:-)).With loads of confusion I thought a stroll would help me out,so set out for it in the boulevard right in front of my hostel.I saw people running around one ball in the field,couldn't figure out as to what they were trying to do!!.So I continued to walk hoping for some improvement.Now came the saviour of my life,any guesses?Well,it's the 'GIRLS HOSTEL'.Let me explain exactly what happened.As I reached close to the girls hostel premises,my eyes started squinting,then my neck turned right as if a robot was instructed to do so and here I see a group of girls in some amazing clothing(let me not describe it as I would require loads of pages to do so).Suddenly a shiver ran down my spine and here I am with all my senses perfectly working..:-).I had always heard people saying that God has a remedy for anything and everything somewhere hidden in the nature,now I know exactly where to find it.:-) and ofcourse you need to thank me for sharing this eureka.

Frankly speaking I have a piece of advice for all people reading this blog.If you haven't experienced the amount of sleep as I did and hope to continue in my life,then I think today is the day and now is the time.Just go for it guys.Try it once and I am damn sure you would never want to stop it.Thats my word.Given the fact that I always believe in working for a social cause,I am planning to open a institute that would help people understand the powers of 'sleep' and enrich their lives.What say?Well I can go on and on about the latest amusement of my life,but it's better to put a full stop to it now.Hope you enjoyed reading it.Let me know it through your comments.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Oops da(the) SMS lingo??!!

Hey as u read this,I am sure u wud b receiving a msg(but as far as spice n/w is concerned,I can guarantee tht u wud b getting a 'Good morning' msg in da evening or just vice versa :-)..expect me 2 write a blog on this someday!!)..isn't it imperative u wud reply back and wud definitely use wrds like 'asap' for 'as soon as possible' or 'da' or 't' for 'the'..well if u dont agree with me,pls ask da same question 2 a BSNL customer (must b a bakra guy like me!!) & u wud know da plight of exhorbitant charges..weren't u amazed using this sought of lingo..I am sure u were..then why this sought of discomfort when using da same SMS lingo in da blogs!!..Before proceeding let me clarify myself,ppl who weren't happy with my usage of SMS lingo,I respect ur words & no ill feelings for tht..pls do continue 2 criticize me as I believe in constructive criticism.
But my question is why not use it.I mean u r so happy using it in sendin msgs makin ur cmplx life less complicated,it's u who's creating new short cuts for almost every word of Thesaurus(hey how abt a complete dictionary on SMS lingo..wht shall we name it as 'The SMS saurus',well,u specify it 2 me),ok so continuing my argument why not hav da same analogy when it comes 2 ur blog,I repeat "ur blog".It's da means of expreesing 'ur' thoughts which has da power 2 elevate 'ur' happiness 2 a very high level..it makes u feel much bettr when ur feelin low in life..well I can find u 1000s of reasons supporting my stand.I some how has da feeling tht most ppl reading this article will b sharing da same boat as I do..(pls let me know thru ur comments)..I understand tht blogs r supposed 2 hav a literary relation 2 it(I desperately want 2 add something on relation here,but unfortunately I dont understand thm neither can I learn thm..still can't figure out as 2 who my niece is :-) ) and all those bla bla,but before admitting urself 2 da so called 'rules',pls give a 2nd thought..put urself at a higher priority than da rulebook..So guys & girls come out of da shell which others have created for u and xpress urself in da way u want it 2 b..b it da SMS lingo or may b da Hinglish(merger of Hindi & English)way..
For da ppl who still aren't convinced,pls drop in a comment and lets c how it goes...I am looking for a person who can convince me on going 2 da other side of da shore..(yeah thts making me go against my stand)..All da best..

The iDeA of me having a BloG!!

Well,I was wondering how 2 start off my posts..after going thru an array of ideas finally boiled down 2 nothing..!!..(surprised,don't be..all regards to VTU..da rote methodology followed here has da main intention to kill some1s,rather shud I say every1s creativity)..2 put it in another form couldn't prioritize on da topic...after lots of tht processing,finally tht why not write on da very "idea of me having a blog".
A damn good and da most important reason for a person like me 2 start a blog..(no prizes for guessing,8th sem guys)is da basic reason of me being jobless..so wht wud any1 do if he was free for 6,04,800 secs per week..(if u r good in math,thts exactly the entire time u can find in a week!!).I understand u can watch movies,play ur fav sport,watch da latest cricket game(if ur a Yuvraj Singh's fan thn pls stay out of it),catch on with da 1 sided match of Arsenal vs Man untd..or rather follow da footsteps of Dr. Sálim Moizuddin Abdul Ali,the "Birdman of India"..(plan 2 snatch this title from him 1 day :-)) to watch birds(let me put it within quotes "birds")..but how long can u do this..1 week or a maximum of 2 weeks right..(well as for da last option,it all depends on u)..unfortunately we have 3 months as per schedule for da 8th sem.
So tht of me giving a try at reading novels..Oh God novels,I somehow don't know why I can't digest this word till date..nostalgia struck me with a thunder..it reminded abt my stint with 2 novels..first being 'Kane and Abel' and second being da very famous 'The Alchemist'.If u r some1 who like the authors of these books,pls skip thru a few lines before proceeding as I am not responsible for da consequences tht follow!!.As of I remember,putting together the total number of pages that I have read in these novels,rather I could have read and still retain a few of my senses must be close to abt 60 pages..was really afraid of losing myself into some scrap like this..can't figure out how these authors can write something that run for so many pages with da story line being so thin..so Mr/Mrs authors,it's high time u improve ur narration speed,may be then I could give a second tht on reading novels or rather looking at them..(sorry for being sarcastic..but I have tried my level best 2 scale down).so thought of something else other than novels.
This is when I came across a wonderful world where I could get back 2 something that I always loved to do,but unfortunately had to retire from,a few years ago..yeah da freedom 2 express myself,"the idea of a blog".As I am writing this post,it makes me remember of all da good moments tht I had after writing such one's years ago and da euphoria that engulfed me when they were published in newspapers and tabloids..(in typical b'lore style..sakkat kushiyagittu magaa..).It's actually helping my brain cells to get activated(atleast da ones which r still working!!)so tht I can prove 2 myself tht I still have some creativity left in me,especially after so many years of so called academic workout which I term as a huge waste of time..So before bidding farewell to my 1st post,rather call it a comeback into da world I love,let me thank myself for making up my mind 2 write a blog.As Geoffrey Boycott puts it 'form is temporary but class is permanent ',I do hope tht my class helps me make a strong comeback..It's just da beginning of something nice 2 follow is what I believe and if by any chance u find this post pretty good or may b just da opposite(both r accepted whole heartedly),thn pls let me know..