Saturday, October 18, 2008

DESULTORY AIRHEAD’S RANTS – PART I

Long long ago very long ago..(Flash lights off giving a shade of darkness..special effects you see) there lived a couple named Shiva and Parvati. With every thing at their disposal right from happiness to wealth they were having a blast of time in heaven. But how long can a couple make love isn’t it?lol. Since they had loads of time at their disposal they thought of playing a game. So they called on their secretary Narada to give them a list of options. You might wonder how this is remotely possible as Narada is a loyalist of Narayana.

Here I give you a brief account of how this happened. Narayana had arranged a grand function. It was a call for the selection of new entries to fill in for the the three most prestigious posts or should I say most lucrative posts in heaven, for they gave you a chance to be millionaires in no time as emoluments and perks were really high. Yes, you guessed it right, it was a call to fill in for Rambe, Urvashi and Menake as they had grown old and were facing stress related issues!!. Loads of good looking girls turned up for the event and after the initial rounds of written test and interview, ten of them proceeded to the final round. (From a reliable source in heaven I came to know that Mrs.Shakuntala devi and some random Sharma books had given a boost for the ten girls who made it to the finals. Incredible!, for these books have far reaching roots.) Ok back to the event: it was an all gala round in which every participant had to perform for 15 minutes to one of the latest bollywood songs. More points were to be given to performers who would chose ‘item numbers’ as these had set a rage among the old and young in heaven off late. So naturally ‘Om Shanti Om’ and ‘Saawariya’ songs weren’t accepted as they din’t have any item numbers to boast off.

Narayana had made this an all exclusive event with him being being the judge and also the sole audience. So the most awaited event kicked off with the first participant choosing the number ‘Mayya-Mayya’ from the film ‘Guru’. The event proceeded with Narayana having the most wonderful time of his life. Among the various participants it was the fourth one who had created a flutter for she had chosen the skimpiest of clothes and had preferred to dance for the number from the movie ‘Jism’, ofcourse for the song ‘Jadoo hey nashaa hey’. It was here that Narada was caught sneaking in from backdoors capturing the dance on his new iPhone. Unfortunately he had forgotten to turn the mobile into silent mode. While shooting he had received a alert from one of the local daily and thus came the end of his chupa-rustum act. Since he was caught red handed by none other than Narayana, this great guru-disciple pair had to break up.

This made Narada really worried about his future, but all thanks to our countries politicians, he soon learned the art of changing loyalties for some ransom. So he decided to bid adieu to his guru Narayana and headed towards Shiva. Shiva hadn’t disappointed him either as he promised him of the post of Secretary at his office. Along with it, he was guaranteed of a Bugatti Veyron(it’s the fastest car in the world) after guaging his performance for a period of six months. This made Narada all happy and secure about his future and since that day he turned out to be a loyalist of Shiva. Let's head back to the ruddy situation back in Shiva’s office.

It was five minutes since Shiva had sent a message to Narada asking him give the details of all the games available in his office. But there was no response from the secretary. Shiva known for his short temper rose from his feet and started grumbling at Narada. This is what he said to Parvati “Paaru, this bugger uses a Spice connection for his mobile which means that I have to send any message atleast 5 times for it to be delivered. Inspite of me patiently doing it he hasn’t replied. How overweening must he be to act in this way..Grr”. Sighting fumes from all quarters of Shiva’s head Parvati tried to find the flush button in his head aka Ganga, but in vain as Ganga had forgotten to fill in the water tank in the morning as she slept very late the previous day since she was glued onto ‘Vogue’ magazine wondering when her swelt, size-zero bod would appear in the front cover page.

Incidently Narada who had gone to the H-CCD (Heaven-Café Coffee Day) outlet for the brunch time break hadn’t come back to his seat on time. While he was happily sipping his Café-Mocha oglying at the girls who passed by, he used his other hand to chat to his ex-girl friends on gtalk. Indeed it was a momentous time of his life as he was flooded with new friend requests and testimonials of which 90% were from females. Ever since he put up his new snap he had taken with all ten finalists, he was now considered the most reliable entry path to all luxuries of heaven given the proximity he shared with all great guns of heaven. When he was basking in his glory he received the SMS from Shiva. Since he had already over-shooted his break by over 15 minutes, Narada after receiving this message was slightly worried about the mood back in office. So he closed down all the sites he had opened viz Orkut, Facebook, Myspace,Hi5, Youtube and so on and headed back to where he should have been..To be continued..

2 comments:

Sayani said...

Oh good God awesome!!!
cud nt stop laughing ....u are so brilliant !!!!

tho' i really worried that some "dal" don't trace u up :)
so enjoy and write soon ...u give gap much than i do ?
Really love ur post

tc :)

regards
sayani

A comeback-roopeshrn said...

Thanks sayani..but looks like not many liked this post!!so sequel ka kya hoga dekna padega..hmmmm..